The Call (08/29/2020)

It’s Saturday night and on a “normal” old school night I’d be out on a date having dinner.😊

But it’s NOT normal. It’s not a normal Saturday night and everyone should stay home and avoid unnecessary trips to the outside world.

I had the best sleep last night. It was uninterrupted and lasted for 10hours plus. I have never, in this period of Pandemic, gotten this kind of sleep. I must have been tired. It has been a tiring few weeks.

I told myself I’d only count the good things.

1. My lola (from my blog abt the Laugh that turned COVID) patient who went home against medical advise, got readmitted and during that time she wasn’t doing well. It came to a point where the family signed DNR (Do not resiscutate) and DNI (Do not intubate). I prayed so hard for her, because she’s a strong lola. True enough on her 3rd hospital day, she improved and she was begging the nurses and me to send her home. I loved my chats with her. She is always so grateful. But there was a time she was crying because one of her daughters died recently and she said she wanted to die too. 😓 On the 5th hospital day, she had no shortness of breath, her oxygen sats were 99 to 100% and she got to convince her daughter to bring her home. They signed a waiver for Home Against Medical Advise and yesterday her daughter sent me a photo and told me lola is doing well.

I was so happy. And I still pray for lola. She has that aura around her. She’s the type of person you meet and you feel like you’ve known her forever. She’s always laughing (story: The Laugh that turned COVID). And I feel like if you give me a little more time with her or if I met her in any other circumstance we’d still be close. I’m just happy lola is doing well. All the sacrifices are worth it when we get to send them home and they recover well. Ofcourse I sent her meds to continue at home. She will be fine this time. I know it.😊🙏 Thank You God for Your Healing Power.🙏

2. One of the patients that worried me a 20yo female went home too. I remember her mother crying to me over the phone. I remember thinking she was too young to die and prayed to God na sana ibigay na samin ‘to. Her sats were 50 to 70% and they refused intubation due to financial constraints.. it was like a miracle seeing her improve so fast. She ended up with 8 doctors on board but she’s alive and we sent her home. Thank You God.🙏

I still have a few patients admitted but this morning I received an important message coming from one of the few persons who can make me stop my world and leave everything for her.

My mom is not a texter, she’s a caller. But sending a message like this makes me feel like it’s her way of emphasizing on what she wants from me. Last time she sent me a message, I had 3 confirmed COVID in-patients, today I just won’t count. But yeah, too many. I honestly don’t want to go on leave. I feel like it might give a negative feeling to my patients that I’m abandoning them. But you know I haven’t had time to hug my mom since I can’t remember when. My siblings keep telling me that my Mom misses me.

My Ate told me na “jo hindi mauubas yan dadami lang sila.” And it’s true. Since the beginning of the month, hindi talaga sila naubos, dumami talaga sila. So I talked to my patients earlier. I told them I need to go on leave so I can spend time with my Mom. Naintindihan naman nila. And they thanked me sabi ko naman I’ll always call the nurse station and check on them and if they have any concerns they can have the staff call me.

So this is me giving time to my Mom. She probably the sweetest, most thoughtful person you’ll ever meet. She’s 67yo, diabetic and hypertensive. I need to get myself swabbed just to spend time with her. I miss her soooo much.

After reading her text message this morning, I immediately called her. She told me she wants to soend quality time with me, she said “kung pwede lang mag travel aalis tayo.” She’s so cute talaga. So ganun-ganon na lang, yes maglleave muna ako para kay Mommy.

I remember watching Boy Abunda’s interview with one of the doctors of the Philippine College of Physicians. He asked the doctor, family or work? The doctor had to explain, work talaga yung nauna because many people need him. Ngayon lang ako nakarelate na sa dinami-daming times na himingi yung Mom k g oras ngayon kang din talaga ako magmmake time for her. And it even comes with a lot of guilt because I still have admitted patients. But thinking of my Mom, carry naman. I endorsed my patients naman.

So day 1 of waiting starts tomorrow, when I get my negative result, I’ll go home to my Mom.